1 00:00:06,971 --> 00:00:12,325 THE LITTLE TEHATER OF JEAN RENOIR 2 00:00:16,411 --> 00:00:19,889 Ladies and gentlemen, here's my little theatre... 3 00:00:21,608 --> 00:00:24,404 on whose stage I'll have the pleasure to illustrate... 4 00:00:24,505 --> 00:00:27,321 some anecdotes which amused me and which... 5 00:00:27,422 --> 00:00:29,849 I hope you'll like. 6 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,535 One is a Christmas tale... 7 00:00:32,636 --> 00:00:35,871 which I call "The Last Christmas Eve"... 8 00:00:35,972 --> 00:00:40,985 dedicated to the memory of my extraordinary collaborator... 9 00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:43,279 who is unaware of this collaboration... 10 00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:45,923 the great Hans-Christian Andersen. 11 00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:49,802 One should choose one's masters only among the greatest. 12 00:00:49,903 --> 00:00:52,203 The players in it are... 13 00:01:15,537 --> 00:01:17,421 This is my territory...! 14 00:01:18,441 --> 00:01:20,980 He wants to steal my place. 15 00:01:27,606 --> 00:01:29,597 Since the war... 16 00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,998 ...there's no morality, anymore. 17 00:01:37,442 --> 00:01:39,096 I'm drunk... 18 00:01:39,302 --> 00:01:43,106 All Christmas you drink and look for girls... 19 00:01:43,442 --> 00:01:46,475 You follow tradition or you don't. 20 00:01:48,148 --> 00:01:50,194 I'm freezing! 21 00:01:50,295 --> 00:01:53,395 At Christmas you freeze and in August you sweat... 22 00:01:53,617 --> 00:01:56,744 Let's go in before I catch pneumonia! 23 00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,895 I'm starving! 24 00:01:59,996 --> 00:02:03,496 Let me first contemplate the perfectly conventional decor... 25 00:02:03,597 --> 00:02:04,697 of this restaurant... 26 00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:06,298 I adore the conventional! 27 00:02:07,965 --> 00:02:11,562 Christmas is our civilization's most successful clich�... 28 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:14,184 And that's its charm. 29 00:02:33,678 --> 00:02:36,943 The world's made up of contrasts... 30 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:40,532 or it was, before "progress" levelled everything... 31 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:44,347 Soon there'll be no cold nor warm... 32 00:02:44,353 --> 00:02:49,196 nor rich nor poor, it'll all be the same... a real drag! 33 00:02:51,074 --> 00:02:54,143 Because the very idea of equality is a drag. 34 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,945 I've a toothache... 35 00:02:56,046 --> 00:02:59,446 Try a scotch with Cayenne pepper... it's infallible. 36 00:02:59,951 --> 00:03:03,498 Caviar in a large salad bowl with big spoons... 37 00:03:03,599 --> 00:03:05,599 so it'll look impressive... 38 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:09,500 And for me, salami and red wine. 39 00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:11,580 Mouton-Rothschild? 40 00:03:11,781 --> 00:03:13,542 No, vin ordinaire 41 00:03:14,203 --> 00:03:16,135 Isn't it marvelous? 42 00:03:17,755 --> 00:03:18,841 That bum... 43 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,803 I've an idea... 44 00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:40,618 What can he be telling him? 45 00:03:40,682 --> 00:03:43,176 He's telling him about the healthfulness... 46 00:03:43,277 --> 00:03:45,077 of out-door life, naturally! 47 00:03:45,178 --> 00:03:47,178 Oh, my tooth! 48 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:53,677 My Christmas is always a bust... my boyfriend dines with his wife. 49 00:03:54,175 --> 00:03:56,028 He's giving him money. 50 00:03:56,286 --> 00:03:57,395 He's nuts! 51 00:03:57,635 --> 00:03:59,448 But he's backing my film! 52 00:04:00,957 --> 00:04:03,139 You better watch him. 53 00:04:04,474 --> 00:04:06,729 The old fellow can't believe it... 54 00:04:07,023 --> 00:04:09,291 Gontran always exaggerates. 55 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,417 Always showing off. 56 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,518 He can afford it. 57 00:04:13,778 --> 00:04:16,415 And he wouldn't pay my rent! 58 00:04:21,189 --> 00:04:23,784 How's that for expressing hunger? 59 00:04:30,274 --> 00:04:33,580 I paid him to look through the window... 60 00:04:33,681 --> 00:04:35,981 and watch us eat 61 00:04:36,082 --> 00:04:39,282 so your pleasure will be enhanced 62 00:04:39,383 --> 00:04:43,283 by being stared at by someone who's starving. 63 00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:54,665 Oh, my tooth! 64 00:04:56,947 --> 00:04:58,724 It's a wisdom tooth. 65 00:05:18,711 --> 00:05:22,904 Aren't the shortest jokes the best, old boy? 66 00:05:24,249 --> 00:05:27,973 I'm delighted... it's a Shakespearean situation. 67 00:05:28,184 --> 00:05:31,546 I agree, it's absolutely Shakespearean. 68 00:05:37,999 --> 00:05:40,653 A wisdom tooth's no joke! 69 00:05:48,113 --> 00:05:49,579 Not eating? 70 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,680 No, I'm not hungry. 71 00:05:51,781 --> 00:05:55,681 I've had enough, I'm going... you're disgusting. 72 00:05:55,782 --> 00:05:59,282 I don't want ever to see you again. 73 00:05:59,683 --> 00:06:02,083 I'm going too. 74 00:06:03,805 --> 00:06:05,283 Really! 75 00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:09,858 They just didn't understand! 76 00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:11,664 The turkey now? 77 00:06:11,765 --> 00:06:13,265 I loathe turker! 78 00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:16,366 The service was unsatisfactory, Mr. Gontran? 79 00:06:29,643 --> 00:06:32,202 We must get rid of that bum! 80 00:06:32,303 --> 00:06:35,503 We could give him the left-overs... 81 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,604 Very good idea! 82 00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:52,225 Say, old boy, how about a little supper? 83 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:57,714 Yes, caviar, foie gras, turkey, a nice bottle of champagne... 84 00:06:57,815 --> 00:06:58,915 Or two... 85 00:06:59,016 --> 00:07:03,116 It depends... I'm very particular about champagne... 86 00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:05,716 ..I like it dry... 87 00:07:07,101 --> 00:07:11,411 Note that I didn't ask for it... still, it must be the best. 88 00:07:11,513 --> 00:07:13,180 He's priceless! 89 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,968 You'll be satisfied. 90 00:07:15,069 --> 00:07:18,569 Good, because otherwise I'll complain... 91 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,170 You seem very intelligent... 92 00:07:20,271 --> 00:07:25,071 No, I'm a real idiot, but life teaches you things... 93 00:07:25,468 --> 00:07:27,380 I'll find a bench... 94 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,981 ...nearby... 95 00:07:31,433 --> 00:07:34,364 We're fixing you a real banquet. 96 00:07:34,465 --> 00:07:37,765 And leave that windows... you're annoying people... 97 00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:39,366 I was paid to stay. 98 00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:41,467 They've left, already. 99 00:07:41,568 --> 00:07:43,368 Oh, in that case...! 100 00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:47,359 Well, my friend... 101 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,825 And don't call me your friend! 102 00:07:51,926 --> 00:07:55,426 Very right and proper, Captain. 103 00:07:55,527 --> 00:07:57,127 ...and don't forget... 104 00:07:57,228 --> 00:08:00,528 ...the silver, eh? I hate eating with my fingers. 105 00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:04,366 None of that Henry V stuff, eh? 106 00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:05,667 VIII... 107 00:08:05,768 --> 00:08:07,768 Henry VIII, of course... 108 00:08:08,311 --> 00:08:10,025 Utensils for two, please... 109 00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:13,059 Yes, a conquest... 110 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,160 Young? Pretty? 111 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:18,761 Young... pretty... the prettiest in town... 112 00:08:20,245 --> 00:08:24,298 We'll bring it right away... meanwhile, please... 113 00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,864 ...move away a bit. 114 00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:37,109 Isn't he handsome! 115 00:08:37,485 --> 00:08:39,871 Must be his makeup. he's too perfect... 116 00:08:40,077 --> 00:08:41,993 What a makeup! 117 00:08:42,094 --> 00:08:44,094 I'll invite him to supper... 118 00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:47,971 To be hugged by that wreck must be something... 119 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:51,946 Anyway, I'll give him my cape. 120 00:08:54,765 --> 00:08:57,920 "Clothe him who is naked..." 121 00:09:02,515 --> 00:09:04,989 Now to put the feedbag on, eh? 122 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,090 Let's say, some supper. 123 00:09:07,191 --> 00:09:10,391 With pleasure not to see you again... 124 00:09:10,492 --> 00:09:12,992 The pleasure will be mine. 125 00:10:25,099 --> 00:10:26,806 Well, my good fellow... 126 00:10:26,907 --> 00:10:28,407 how goes it? 127 00:10:28,719 --> 00:10:31,247 How nice to meet one who looks... 128 00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:32,848 as happy as you. 129 00:10:32,949 --> 00:10:34,949 Anything you'd like? 130 00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:36,750 Make a wish... 131 00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:39,347 I'd like to play Santa Claus... 132 00:10:39,448 --> 00:10:41,448 this Christmas Eve. 133 00:10:42,037 --> 00:10:44,680 Make it quick, I'm freezing! 134 00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:49,238 It's my heaven-sent chance to do a good deed... 135 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:53,383 Tell me, what would you like most? 136 00:10:53,499 --> 00:10:55,995 Help me carry my packages. 137 00:10:56,165 --> 00:10:57,861 Some kidder, eh? 138 00:11:53,116 --> 00:11:55,339 I was worried you wouldn't return... 139 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,640 How could you think such a thing! 140 00:11:58,741 --> 00:12:01,641 I've no life without you... 141 00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:05,042 And without you I'm bored. 142 00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:10,670 My, that's serious! 143 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,371 Very serious! 144 00:12:12,472 --> 00:12:17,572 Cold, hunger... one can manage those... but boredom! 145 00:12:19,317 --> 00:12:21,623 I'm so weak... 146 00:12:22,098 --> 00:12:26,335 I feel my legs won't support me anymore... 147 00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:35,795 I couldn't die without you! 148 00:12:35,896 --> 00:12:37,896 Nor could I...! 149 00:12:37,997 --> 00:12:39,297 We'll never part... 150 00:12:39,398 --> 00:12:40,598 Never... 151 00:12:40,699 --> 00:12:42,399 Day and night... 152 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,900 we'll hold each other's hand... 153 00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:47,601 Even for a treasure, like a whole cigarette... 154 00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:49,625 a glass of wine... 155 00:12:49,726 --> 00:12:52,026 or a piece of sausage... 156 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:57,223 we'll never leave each other. 157 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:03,048 If you were run over... away from me... 158 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,849 they'd bury you... 159 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,850 but what would I do all alone? 160 00:13:09,218 --> 00:13:10,382 And I...? 161 00:13:10,483 --> 00:13:12,383 You'll always hold my hand? 162 00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:16,339 And we'll die together? 163 00:13:16,774 --> 00:13:18,670 What's that? 164 00:13:18,915 --> 00:13:20,087 A cape. 165 00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:22,188 You met Santa Claus? 166 00:13:22,289 --> 00:13:24,289 A bushel of Santa Clauses! 167 00:13:30,447 --> 00:13:33,135 That explains your overcoat... 168 00:13:33,236 --> 00:13:36,036 And the cape and this supper... 169 00:13:38,764 --> 00:13:42,919 Champagne, caviar, foie gras! 170 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,631 A supper worthy of you. 171 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,552 Darling... 172 00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:19,953 I left your hand... 173 00:14:20,397 --> 00:14:23,355 It's the cape's fault... 174 00:14:23,456 --> 00:14:26,656 it made me forget my vow... 175 00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:32,157 Give me your hand... 176 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,948 What a beautiful night! 177 00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:42,422 The clouds are dissolving to reveal the stars, and how they glitter...! 178 00:14:42,425 --> 00:14:46,127 It's to celebrate the birth of a child... 179 00:14:46,228 --> 00:14:47,928 and our young love 180 00:14:48,029 --> 00:14:51,229 I remember Christmas in our chateau... 181 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,821 We were alone... 182 00:14:53,922 --> 00:14:56,622 except for the servants... 183 00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:59,389 What perfect servants they were... 184 00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:01,490 of the old school... 185 00:15:01,591 --> 00:15:06,291 they knew how to be devoted without becoming familiar... 186 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,420 I had called for musicians... 187 00:15:09,521 --> 00:15:11,521 for just us two... 188 00:15:11,713 --> 00:15:15,405 The salon was lit, and we danced... 189 00:15:15,506 --> 00:15:19,506 just us two, us two alone... it was divine... 190 00:15:19,925 --> 00:15:22,167 Yes, it was divine... 191 00:15:27,415 --> 00:15:31,779 This game is hideous! Let's stop this delirium...! 192 00:15:32,084 --> 00:15:36,269 The splendor of an imaginary past doesn't lessen our present misery! 193 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,370 We had no chateau... 194 00:15:38,913 --> 00:15:40,413 no servants... 195 00:15:40,514 --> 00:15:41,714 We did... 196 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,815 I never saw a mink close before. 197 00:15:44,216 --> 00:15:45,916 You've forgotten... 198 00:15:46,017 --> 00:15:49,317 We're poor, poorer than the poorest... 199 00:15:50,163 --> 00:15:52,543 and we always were. 200 00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:54,644 We're rich in memories... 201 00:15:54,939 --> 00:15:57,463 Made-up memories. 202 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,321 They're the best kind. 203 00:16:13,914 --> 00:16:16,014 My darling. 204 00:16:17,415 --> 00:16:19,555 Oh, my darling! 205 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,841 We're too old for that... 206 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,142 No... 207 00:17:32,781 --> 00:17:36,919 Now we'll rest on our big canopied bed... 208 00:17:37,895 --> 00:17:40,383 in our chateau. 209 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,457 We haven't had our supper. 210 00:18:36,893 --> 00:18:40,525 I'll be for the poor. 211 00:18:56,215 --> 00:18:58,567 Hey, look... they swiped our spot! 212 00:18:59,149 --> 00:19:00,969 The skunks! 213 00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:06,132 They're sound asleep. 214 00:19:09,758 --> 00:19:11,910 They're dead... 215 00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:13,614 Let's have some grub. 216 00:19:17,168 --> 00:19:21,400 What I don't get is that they look happy... 217 00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:25,116 Happy? When you die of the cold? 218 00:19:30,554 --> 00:19:33,234 We continue with "THE ELECTRIC WAXER"... 219 00:19:33,335 --> 00:19:34,835 This one's an opera... 220 00:19:34,936 --> 00:19:37,436 well, at least there are songs... 221 00:19:37,537 --> 00:19:39,537 choruses commenting on the action, etc... 222 00:19:39,815 --> 00:19:42,052 It's also very tropical... 223 00:19:42,153 --> 00:19:44,153 being about man vs. the machine. 224 00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:48,982 The struggle is acted out by... 225 00:20:00,838 --> 00:20:03,060 Subway... office... 226 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,161 Office... subway... 227 00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:12,118 Credit accounts... 228 00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:16,212 Duplicators... 229 00:20:22,082 --> 00:20:24,118 Manipulators... 230 00:20:24,219 --> 00:20:26,219 Contracts... projects... 231 00:20:26,568 --> 00:20:28,948 Subway... office... 232 00:20:29,537 --> 00:20:32,274 Office... subway... 233 00:20:32,788 --> 00:20:36,114 Perfect nylons, subtle makeup... 234 00:20:39,748 --> 00:20:42,284 Youth is passing... 235 00:20:45,908 --> 00:20:48,661 Life is slowing... 236 00:20:54,182 --> 00:20:58,068 Who'll give me back the sweet days... 237 00:20:59,683 --> 00:21:03,369 Of my first misconducts... 238 00:21:07,906 --> 00:21:12,299 The kisses in the corner of a doorway... 239 00:21:14,835 --> 00:21:17,911 The illusory promises... 240 00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:24,040 The slaps of my poor father... 241 00:21:25,355 --> 00:21:29,144 The yells of my mother... 242 00:21:30,392 --> 00:21:33,106 Subway... office... Office... subway... 243 00:25:32,303 --> 00:25:33,855 Emilie! 244 00:25:42,151 --> 00:25:43,496 My floor! 245 00:25:43,597 --> 00:25:46,597 I've been promoted to 2nd Clerk! 246 00:25:46,698 --> 00:25:48,698 Look what you did! 247 00:25:50,429 --> 00:25:53,280 Just think...! I'm 2nd Clerk! 248 00:25:53,381 --> 00:25:55,381 The scuffs, if you please! 249 00:25:55,787 --> 00:25:58,601 Now listen, this is important... 250 00:25:58,702 --> 00:26:01,302 The First Clerk, Dufourneau, is retiring... 251 00:26:01,410 --> 00:26:04,719 about time, too... after 52 years... 252 00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:07,820 and the 2nd Clerk, Lamorille, replaces him. 253 00:26:08,039 --> 00:26:11,602 And I replace the 2nd Clerk! 254 00:26:14,236 --> 00:26:18,380 The office is giving me a party tonight... 255 00:26:18,481 --> 00:26:20,881 and you're invited, naturally. 256 00:26:21,255 --> 00:26:25,022 Get dressed, the maid will do your floor. 257 00:26:25,123 --> 00:26:28,623 Leave my floor to a maid?! 258 00:26:29,033 --> 00:26:31,179 I'd rather die! 259 00:26:34,054 --> 00:26:35,493 Don't exaggerate... 260 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,594 You don't understand... 261 00:26:39,167 --> 00:26:41,550 a gleaming floor e a household's glory... 262 00:26:41,651 --> 00:26:43,651 by which you're judged... 263 00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:49,952 A well waxed floor is, for a proper wife... 264 00:26:50,053 --> 00:26:55,053 what pearls, a mink coat, or a Rolls-Royce are for a whore. 265 00:26:55,454 --> 00:26:57,439 Have it varnished. 266 00:26:57,751 --> 00:26:58,751 Never! 267 00:26:59,083 --> 00:27:01,999 A varnished floor is vulgar. 268 00:27:02,589 --> 00:27:05,211 I want an electric waxer. 269 00:27:08,181 --> 00:27:10,275 Yes, electric. 270 00:27:10,376 --> 00:27:13,676 Look, I work all day in a noisy office... 271 00:27:13,777 --> 00:27:17,677 The clack of the "noiseless" typewriters unnerves me... 272 00:27:17,778 --> 00:27:19,778 A waxer isn't very noisy. 273 00:27:22,277 --> 00:27:25,149 We have a vacuum cleaner, washing machine... 274 00:27:25,250 --> 00:27:28,450 mixer, dryer, air-conditioner... it's enough. 275 00:27:28,551 --> 00:27:30,551 Now let's be serious. 276 00:27:30,652 --> 00:27:33,052 I've been made 2nd Clerk... 277 00:27:33,153 --> 00:27:37,053 and to be 2nd Clerk at 35, well, it's pretty nice. 278 00:27:39,245 --> 00:27:42,416 You ought to hug me, congratulate. 279 00:27:43,012 --> 00:27:46,045 You'll get a raise? 280 00:27:46,146 --> 00:27:47,546 Of course... 281 00:27:47,647 --> 00:27:52,047 Then you'll buy me my electric waxer? 282 00:27:53,016 --> 00:27:55,536 You know the annual insanity rate? 283 00:27:57,612 --> 00:27:59,628 127,682... 284 00:28:01,407 --> 00:28:04,806 And the percentage of noise-induced cases? 285 00:28:06,413 --> 00:28:08,290 27,5%... 286 00:28:11,051 --> 00:28:12,356 I should... 287 00:28:13,792 --> 00:28:15,644 Try it! 288 00:28:20,647 --> 00:28:23,730 You will buy it for me, won't you? 289 00:28:23,831 --> 00:28:25,531 She'll drive me nuts! 290 00:28:25,632 --> 00:28:28,732 On the guillotine, she's demand her waxer! 291 00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:30,833 Quick, dress, or we'll be late. 292 00:28:32,239 --> 00:28:35,084 For my party, celebrating my promotion! 293 00:28:35,185 --> 00:28:38,185 I'm going back to my mother. 294 00:28:38,587 --> 00:28:41,351 Good riddance. I'm taking a bath. 295 00:28:42,009 --> 00:28:43,997 The towels are mine! 296 00:28:44,098 --> 00:28:46,098 They're mine! 297 00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:51,647 No, they're mine! 298 00:28:51,748 --> 00:28:53,748 The towels are mine! 299 00:29:11,382 --> 00:29:15,088 At last there's something going on... 300 00:29:26,743 --> 00:29:29,111 In our neighborhood... 301 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:36,440 Let's thank our considerate neighbors... 302 00:29:38,540 --> 00:29:41,102 For this entertainment... 303 00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:46,506 For this free show. 304 00:29:46,818 --> 00:29:49,404 Nothing is more exciting... 305 00:29:50,140 --> 00:29:53,168 Than other people's troubles 306 00:29:56,563 --> 00:29:59,779 They make life bearable 307 00:30:02,054 --> 00:30:05,261 It's better than the movies 308 00:30:07,342 --> 00:30:10,473 Other people's troubles... 309 00:30:13,286 --> 00:30:16,120 The troubles of others 310 00:30:30,776 --> 00:30:33,502 And our blessed bread. 311 00:31:11,486 --> 00:31:14,597 I left my innocence heart 312 00:31:14,869 --> 00:31:16,808 In the fog 313 00:31:17,773 --> 00:31:21,365 My heart sick with bitterness. 314 00:31:21,905 --> 00:31:23,960 My bruised heart 315 00:31:24,061 --> 00:31:26,361 My child's heart 316 00:31:30,591 --> 00:31:36,559 What comes after "My child's heart" in Noel Fox's song? 317 00:32:35,084 --> 00:32:36,923 My crumb-tray... 318 00:32:37,024 --> 00:32:40,824 You don't think I'll leave my grandfather's crumb-tray. 319 00:32:40,925 --> 00:32:46,025 He was a gentleman, who wouldn't have refused me an electric waxer. 320 00:32:50,196 --> 00:32:53,933 Emilie, your obstinacy is delicious. You'll get your waxer. 321 00:33:08,144 --> 00:33:11,934 The end of that song, I found it. 322 00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:34,643 Company? 323 00:33:34,828 --> 00:33:38,302 Maybe it's a telegram of congratulations, 324 00:33:38,403 --> 00:33:41,203 or our escort to the party. 325 00:33:46,308 --> 00:33:48,084 Where is Madame? 326 00:33:53,076 --> 00:33:55,452 The walls of the chateau of Loches 327 00:33:55,553 --> 00:33:58,253 smothered the protests of Cardinal de la Balue 328 00:33:58,354 --> 00:34:00,354 imprisoned by Louis XI. 329 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:02,455 Those times are over. 330 00:34:02,738 --> 00:34:05,870 If the think walls of modern houses 331 00:34:05,971 --> 00:34:08,971 don't make for intimacy between neighbors 332 00:34:09,072 --> 00:34:12,072 they at least reveal their little habits. 333 00:34:12,173 --> 00:34:14,773 I represent the Magnetotum Waxer. 334 00:34:16,993 --> 00:34:19,712 I'm also your next door neighbor. 335 00:34:19,813 --> 00:34:23,313 For instance, I know your favorite records 336 00:34:23,414 --> 00:34:26,914 I share your taste for Noel Fox 337 00:34:27,015 --> 00:34:29,315 I know all your habits 338 00:34:30,201 --> 00:34:33,551 You take many baths, very right and proper. 339 00:34:36,330 --> 00:34:39,336 I'm also a witness, unintentional, 340 00:34:39,437 --> 00:34:41,737 I don't listen behind walls 341 00:34:41,838 --> 00:34:43,838 to your little quarrels. 342 00:34:46,259 --> 00:34:49,709 The one about the electric waxer 343 00:34:49,810 --> 00:34:52,110 touched me particularly 344 00:34:52,211 --> 00:34:55,611 which explains my sudden appearance here. 345 00:34:57,035 --> 00:34:59,341 Excuse me, I was taking a bath. 346 00:34:59,442 --> 00:35:01,442 I must dress. 347 00:35:01,543 --> 00:35:03,943 I was just promoted, friends are waiting. 348 00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:05,514 Congratulations! 349 00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:08,356 May I touch it? 350 00:35:08,457 --> 00:35:10,457 Even better, try it. 351 00:35:10,558 --> 00:35:13,558 First we must clean up this dirt. 352 00:35:22,290 --> 00:35:25,045 Here is the contact switch 353 00:35:27,084 --> 00:35:30,054 Before you plug the machine in 354 00:35:37,941 --> 00:35:40,073 be sure it is... 355 00:35:41,017 --> 00:35:43,532 set for "Off" 356 00:35:45,591 --> 00:35:48,129 "Off" means closed 357 00:35:54,357 --> 00:35:56,778 "On" means open 358 00:36:00,502 --> 00:36:04,107 I see a little "Off" and a little "On" 359 00:36:06,175 --> 00:36:08,246 Wonderful, wonderful! 360 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,783 I'm set for "Off"... 361 00:36:15,787 --> 00:36:17,903 I plug it in... 362 00:36:20,470 --> 00:36:22,807 I take a little wax... 363 00:36:24,212 --> 00:36:26,443 not too much... 364 00:36:29,107 --> 00:36:31,976 too much wax cakes up... 365 00:36:34,438 --> 00:36:36,182 disgracefully 366 00:36:40,848 --> 00:36:43,568 You must use it 367 00:36:47,825 --> 00:36:50,196 de-li-cate-ly... 368 00:37:01,596 --> 00:37:03,422 Try it. 369 00:37:04,504 --> 00:37:07,720 Wait, I want my husband to see. 370 00:37:10,436 --> 00:37:13,596 I'm going to use the waxer 371 00:37:15,496 --> 00:37:18,872 See? Your floor's already different 372 00:37:18,973 --> 00:37:20,973 Like day and night! 373 00:37:21,074 --> 00:37:23,074 I admit that 374 00:37:24,471 --> 00:37:27,203 Gustave, darling, kiss me. 375 00:37:30,634 --> 00:37:32,227 Gustave, answer me! 376 00:37:48,168 --> 00:37:52,444 Let us bow our heads before these mortal remains 377 00:37:57,795 --> 00:37:59,949 Let us praise 378 00:38:00,710 --> 00:38:03,258 This model citizen. 379 00:38:08,894 --> 00:38:11,901 Let us pray that in Eternity 380 00:38:14,497 --> 00:38:17,217 He'll receive his just reward. 381 00:38:25,966 --> 00:38:29,862 Let's congratulate this model husband 382 00:38:30,699 --> 00:38:35,040 For taking out a good insurance policy 383 00:38:38,015 --> 00:38:41,229 His wife's position will now be 384 00:38:41,330 --> 00:38:43,930 very comfortable. 385 00:38:56,284 --> 00:38:58,493 God bless him 386 00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:04,296 Goodbye office 387 00:39:08,867 --> 00:39:10,575 Goodbye subway 388 00:39:24,181 --> 00:39:27,768 TO GUSTAVE MICHONNET, HERO OF HOUSEHOLD PROGRESS 389 00:40:05,017 --> 00:40:08,687 Gustave, Gustave, I'll mourn you all my life 390 00:40:10,786 --> 00:40:13,205 Until my very end! 391 00:40:16,429 --> 00:40:19,970 These people are messing up my floor 392 00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:23,625 I can't very well ask them to 393 00:40:24,914 --> 00:40:28,591 wipe their feet on the doormat 394 00:40:29,939 --> 00:40:33,323 When one is in deep mourning 395 00:40:34,222 --> 00:40:36,623 It's just not done. 396 00:40:54,153 --> 00:40:57,388 Gustave, how will I live without you? 397 00:41:31,842 --> 00:41:33,976 Don't you recognize me? 398 00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:38,077 I'm Jules, Jules Perdreau, your childhood sweetheart! 399 00:41:40,242 --> 00:41:43,639 I heard about your husband's passing. 400 00:41:48,685 --> 00:41:51,786 I used to have a mustache. 401 00:41:52,221 --> 00:41:54,144 It's the mustache! 402 00:41:57,810 --> 00:42:00,451 I came to comfort you. 403 00:42:13,727 --> 00:42:16,860 The Chinese eat it with chopsticks. 404 00:42:20,429 --> 00:42:25,472 If you were Chinese, what would you eat with chopsticks? 405 00:42:29,316 --> 00:42:30,794 Rice? 406 00:42:34,169 --> 00:42:36,844 Rice! Thanks. 407 00:43:33,576 --> 00:43:36,248 Emilie, you forgot our agreement. 408 00:43:36,349 --> 00:43:38,349 No waxing when I'm home. 409 00:43:39,739 --> 00:43:41,680 There's a spot. 410 00:43:42,595 --> 00:43:45,300 Wax it when I'm away. 411 00:43:45,714 --> 00:43:49,990 Let me have just 5 minutes of waxing. 412 00:43:50,091 --> 00:43:52,091 5 minutes. 413 00:43:52,192 --> 00:43:54,192 5 little minutes 414 00:44:06,552 --> 00:44:09,976 How do you like that? I tamed her. 415 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,100 My dear Emilie, 416 00:45:01,201 --> 00:45:04,601 I work all week in an office. 417 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:08,502 Where six perfumed blondes, very agreeable, 418 00:45:09,110 --> 00:45:13,429 deafen me with the clacking of their little typewriters, 419 00:45:13,530 --> 00:45:15,530 the so-called "noiseless" type. 420 00:45:15,802 --> 00:45:18,120 So when I'm home, 421 00:45:18,221 --> 00:45:22,021 I want deliverance from all mechanical noises. 422 00:45:22,517 --> 00:45:23,623 Understand? 423 00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:29,390 Did you understand? 424 00:45:32,012 --> 00:45:34,006 She understood! 425 00:46:14,244 --> 00:46:17,392 I'm going back to my mother. 426 00:47:02,862 --> 00:47:05,220 Oh waxer dear 427 00:47:07,210 --> 00:47:09,914 Let me hug you tight 428 00:47:10,015 --> 00:47:12,615 What exquisite intoxication! 429 00:47:13,624 --> 00:47:15,983 What grand excitation! 430 00:47:20,652 --> 00:47:23,285 I'm becoming all aflutter 431 00:47:23,386 --> 00:47:25,386 It's coming 432 00:47:26,250 --> 00:47:29,186 I feel it in my skin 433 00:47:29,287 --> 00:47:31,987 I feel it in my breasts 434 00:47:32,088 --> 00:47:35,388 I'm going to burst into blossom 435 00:47:37,388 --> 00:47:40,638 It's no longer a phantasm 436 00:47:42,088 --> 00:47:45,254 It's him, at last... at last! 437 00:48:46,818 --> 00:48:48,391 Murderer! 438 00:49:06,668 --> 00:49:09,451 To assault a human being 439 00:49:09,552 --> 00:49:11,552 Is blameable 440 00:49:13,498 --> 00:49:16,254 But to assault a machine 441 00:49:16,355 --> 00:49:18,355 Is abominable! 442 00:49:24,824 --> 00:49:26,859 Human beings 443 00:49:28,944 --> 00:49:30,682 multiply 444 00:49:30,783 --> 00:49:33,883 and, anyway, they're too many. 445 00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:37,006 Over-population 446 00:49:38,343 --> 00:49:41,466 is today's great problem. 447 00:49:59,241 --> 00:50:00,895 You! 448 00:50:03,903 --> 00:50:05,438 And you! 449 00:50:07,815 --> 00:50:10,003 You asked for it. 450 00:50:26,572 --> 00:50:29,291 Go see, I can't. 451 00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:51,070 Emilie's sacrifice 452 00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:58,858 Her halo of glory 453 00:51:06,316 --> 00:51:09,067 And Jule's infamous sacrilege 454 00:51:16,278 --> 00:51:18,886 Will live in history. 455 00:51:21,398 --> 00:51:24,272 Dead machines do not revive 456 00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:26,373 Irremediable is their remise. 457 00:51:26,773 --> 00:51:30,081 Men are born and they grow 458 00:51:31,721 --> 00:51:34,196 They grow like mushrooms 459 00:51:34,297 --> 00:51:36,697 It's necessary to stop them. 460 00:51:37,002 --> 00:51:39,460 The pill isn't enough 461 00:51:40,350 --> 00:51:42,748 Men grow and grow 462 00:51:47,420 --> 00:51:50,579 Machines die and don't revive. 463 00:52:08,042 --> 00:52:10,876 I'll always love you, I promise 464 00:52:10,977 --> 00:52:13,277 My darling, my love 465 00:52:16,502 --> 00:52:19,231 And we'll have lots of children! 466 00:52:24,932 --> 00:52:27,852 I invite you now to join me 467 00:52:27,953 --> 00:52:31,553 in a brief invocation of the period known as "La Belle Epoque". 468 00:52:31,654 --> 00:52:33,654 But I don't delude myself 469 00:52:33,755 --> 00:52:36,455 that it was all that gay. 470 00:52:36,856 --> 00:52:39,856 It had its injustices, its cruelties 471 00:52:39,957 --> 00:52:41,457 but I like it. 472 00:52:45,247 --> 00:52:49,871 For this short interlude Jeanne Moreau 473 00:52:51,848 --> 00:52:55,518 agreed to lend us her beauty and her talent. 474 00:56:00,152 --> 00:56:02,874 And now for "The King of Yvelot", 475 00:56:02,975 --> 00:56:05,975 which is the little of a song by Beranger, 476 00:56:06,076 --> 00:56:08,676 a popular old song which 477 00:56:08,777 --> 00:56:12,177 the hero of my story liked to hum 478 00:56:12,278 --> 00:56:14,278 hence the title. 479 00:56:14,379 --> 00:56:17,379 This anecdote is a tribute to a virtue 480 00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,480 which has all but disappeared, alas 481 00:56:20,581 --> 00:56:22,581 the virtue of "tolerance". 482 00:56:22,682 --> 00:56:27,482 It is also a tribute to that increasingly popular French game 483 00:56:27,583 --> 00:56:29,583 of bowls. 484 00:56:29,684 --> 00:56:31,684 It is played by... 485 00:56:39,156 --> 00:56:43,205 Now I'll throw the first bowl to open the game. 486 00:56:43,306 --> 00:56:46,306 As you see, it's a small one. 487 00:56:46,407 --> 00:56:49,207 but then, my theatre is small too. 488 00:56:49,308 --> 00:56:51,308 Curtain up and the game starts. 489 00:56:55,419 --> 00:56:57,293 Too far. 490 00:57:10,372 --> 00:57:12,254 A yard off. 491 00:57:12,869 --> 00:57:14,950 I'll knock it away. 492 00:57:26,856 --> 00:57:28,950 How's that, eh? 493 00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:31,051 Duvallier, you're a cuckold. 494 00:57:31,572 --> 00:57:34,308 I've never seen such luck! 495 00:57:34,409 --> 00:57:36,409 Not luck... skill. 496 00:57:36,510 --> 00:57:39,510 Luck or skill, let's have a drink. 497 00:57:41,752 --> 00:57:43,864 What'll you have? 498 00:57:43,965 --> 00:57:45,965 Thanks, I'm going home. 499 00:57:46,066 --> 00:57:47,866 I don't blame you. 500 00:57:47,967 --> 00:57:50,967 So would I, to one like Mme. Duvallier. 501 00:57:51,068 --> 00:57:53,468 You don't deserve such happiness. 502 00:57:53,569 --> 00:57:55,769 That's why you call me a cuckold? 503 00:57:55,870 --> 00:57:57,870 Heavens! Mme. Duvallier's an angel! 504 00:57:58,124 --> 00:57:59,656 A fallen angel. 505 00:58:01,128 --> 00:58:03,149 Satan, too, was an angel. 506 00:58:03,250 --> 00:58:05,550 Always joking, eh? Always jolly. 507 00:58:05,651 --> 00:58:07,651 I know what I know, 508 00:58:07,752 --> 00:58:11,352 and I don't trust your godless ideas of beauty. 509 00:58:11,453 --> 00:58:13,053 It's a devil's trap. 510 00:58:13,154 --> 00:58:15,754 Are you referring to my wife? 511 00:58:15,855 --> 00:58:17,855 Her and others. 512 00:58:17,956 --> 00:58:19,356 Where are you going? 513 00:58:19,457 --> 00:58:20,857 To pray. 514 00:58:20,958 --> 00:58:22,958 For forgiveness? 515 00:58:23,269 --> 00:58:25,402 Who laughs last, laughs best. 516 00:58:25,503 --> 00:58:27,303 You've a mirror home? 517 00:58:27,404 --> 00:58:29,404 Where there's a woman, 518 00:58:29,505 --> 00:58:31,505 there's always a mirror. 519 00:58:33,084 --> 00:58:36,902 Approach your wife at a mirror and 520 00:58:37,003 --> 00:58:39,003 stand beside her, 521 00:58:39,104 --> 00:58:40,604 and look. 522 00:58:40,946 --> 00:58:42,599 At what? 523 00:58:42,700 --> 00:58:44,700 You and her. 524 00:58:48,699 --> 00:58:51,994 Joly, you're a mean man. 525 00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:03,506 You're like the girl in the tale who, whenever she opened her mouth 526 00:59:03,607 --> 00:59:05,607 toads sprang out. 527 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:07,308 I'll play you 10 points. 528 00:59:07,409 --> 00:59:11,309 I play bowls? That's for loafers! 529 00:59:13,181 --> 00:59:16,133 I'll be late because of your nonsense! 530 00:59:20,929 --> 00:59:23,287 Hello, Mr. Duvallier. 531 00:59:43,983 --> 00:59:47,533 Yes, I know, your land, don't sell it, don't... 532 00:59:47,634 --> 00:59:49,034 It's worth a lot. 533 00:59:49,135 --> 00:59:50,635 Who said so? 534 00:59:50,736 --> 00:59:52,736 Mr. Joly. 535 00:59:52,837 --> 00:59:55,637 These days, money is paper. 536 00:59:56,652 --> 00:59:58,930 Land is always land. 537 01:00:36,781 --> 01:00:39,147 Why won't you marry me? 538 01:00:40,461 --> 01:00:42,956 Why let me kiss you then? 539 01:00:43,057 --> 01:00:45,057 Because I like it. 540 01:00:46,483 --> 01:00:48,735 Then let's get married. 541 01:00:48,836 --> 01:00:50,336 Marry him. 542 01:00:50,437 --> 01:00:54,137 With his father's butcher shop, he'll be a Croesus! 543 01:00:56,506 --> 01:00:58,200 My steak! 544 01:01:00,683 --> 01:01:02,979 Paulette, come here. 545 01:01:04,281 --> 01:01:06,523 Why don't you marry him? 546 01:01:08,591 --> 01:01:10,305 There's someone else? 547 01:01:12,813 --> 01:01:16,331 You've been so kind, and Madame, too. 548 01:01:18,577 --> 01:01:20,955 I don't always want to be a maid. 549 01:01:23,364 --> 01:01:27,602 I want to be a hetaera, like Camille, or Messalina. 550 01:01:27,703 --> 01:01:29,203 Beautiful! 551 01:01:29,304 --> 01:01:33,704 I'd live grandly and my lovers would commit suicide for me. 552 01:01:34,886 --> 01:01:39,330 Before you go into mourning, see to the ravioli. 553 01:01:41,232 --> 01:01:42,369 Where's Madame? 554 01:01:42,470 --> 01:01:45,570 Resting. She said she had a headache. 555 01:01:45,671 --> 01:01:48,171 It's the weather, a storm's brewing. 556 01:01:48,272 --> 01:01:50,272 Storms give headaches? 557 01:01:50,373 --> 01:01:51,573 They say, 558 01:01:51,674 --> 01:01:53,074 not me. 559 01:01:53,175 --> 01:01:56,675 Wait till you're a great courtesan and you'll see. 560 01:02:00,894 --> 01:02:04,718 The kitchen faucet drips ever since it was fixed. 561 01:02:04,819 --> 01:02:06,419 We'll get a new plumber. 562 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:09,520 Good, the old one kissed badly. 563 01:02:36,943 --> 01:02:38,635 Not well? 564 01:02:44,816 --> 01:02:48,156 Just nerves, all women have it. 565 01:02:48,257 --> 01:02:50,057 They shouldn't. 566 01:02:50,908 --> 01:02:53,247 That's the way we are. 567 01:02:53,348 --> 01:02:55,348 "The way we are!" 568 01:02:56,098 --> 01:02:58,713 I hate ready-made ideas. 569 01:02:58,814 --> 01:03:00,814 I'm really just nervous. 570 01:03:01,699 --> 01:03:06,044 I've a nervous wife and a maid who thinks she's Messalina. 571 01:03:06,145 --> 01:03:09,245 One day I'll wake thinking I'm Napoleon. 572 01:03:09,898 --> 01:03:11,541 Nervous? 573 01:03:13,166 --> 01:03:16,104 I don't know, little things. 574 01:03:19,495 --> 01:03:21,757 A tickling under my skin, 575 01:03:21,858 --> 01:03:25,458 a feeling like wanting to run, to yell... 576 01:03:25,559 --> 01:03:29,659 to roll on the ground on the village square. 577 01:03:30,632 --> 01:03:33,538 That would please Mr. Joly. 578 01:03:35,976 --> 01:03:38,238 You don't believe me? 579 01:03:39,288 --> 01:03:43,434 Oh, it's quite obvious you're nervous alright. 580 01:03:44,188 --> 01:03:47,529 I'm upsetting you, I've really a nasty character. 581 01:03:49,516 --> 01:03:52,837 You're the most exquisite of wives, 582 01:03:52,938 --> 01:03:55,538 and I, I'm a big egoist. 583 01:03:57,148 --> 01:04:01,141 A moment ago, playing bowls, I thought of you, 584 01:04:01,242 --> 01:04:03,842 though I needn't play bowls for that. 585 01:04:03,943 --> 01:04:06,343 And in your absence I fret. 586 01:04:06,444 --> 01:04:08,744 I've a remedy to propose, 587 01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:13,045 which will chase away, once and for all, your nervousness. 588 01:04:13,401 --> 01:04:15,235 Veronal? 589 01:04:15,336 --> 01:04:17,336 No, no drugs. 590 01:04:17,673 --> 01:04:20,797 We must get at the root. 591 01:04:20,898 --> 01:04:23,598 And you know the root? 592 01:04:26,270 --> 01:04:28,223 I think so. 593 01:04:29,985 --> 01:04:33,006 I'm old and you're young. 594 01:04:34,006 --> 01:04:36,965 Isabelle, we should separate. 595 01:04:38,009 --> 01:04:40,511 You're just saying anything. 596 01:04:40,612 --> 01:04:42,012 I've much more. 597 01:04:42,113 --> 01:04:46,013 I've a big bear who needs looking after. 598 01:04:46,514 --> 01:04:50,114 Without you I couldn't live. 599 01:04:50,422 --> 01:04:52,238 Linda swallowed a bone! 600 01:04:52,339 --> 01:04:54,139 She can't breathe! 601 01:04:57,743 --> 01:04:59,669 Do something! 602 01:04:59,770 --> 01:05:01,370 Do what? 603 01:05:01,471 --> 01:05:04,971 If anything happened to her I'd... I'd 604 01:05:18,834 --> 01:05:20,620 Hello, Dr. Feraud? 605 01:05:40,048 --> 01:05:42,276 Hurry, doctor... she'll die! 606 01:05:42,377 --> 01:05:43,977 That's the patient? 607 01:05:44,078 --> 01:05:45,778 She swallowed a bone. 608 01:05:47,703 --> 01:05:50,358 And my wife's got a case of nerves. 609 01:05:55,510 --> 01:05:57,956 I need a table. 610 01:05:58,057 --> 01:05:59,557 The kitchen table. 611 01:05:59,658 --> 01:06:02,558 Take her, I can't watch it. 612 01:06:02,659 --> 01:06:05,459 You won't hurt her, doctor? 613 01:06:17,869 --> 01:06:20,219 Hold her hind legs, please, 614 01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:22,720 and you her fore-legs. 615 01:06:29,017 --> 01:06:31,985 Will you put her to sleep? 616 01:06:41,667 --> 01:06:43,746 There you are. 617 01:06:53,211 --> 01:06:56,352 Don't be bashful, kiss my wife. 618 01:07:08,114 --> 01:07:10,555 I've never eaten, I mean... 619 01:07:11,006 --> 01:07:14,487 I've never eaten such an excellent p�t�. 620 01:07:14,984 --> 01:07:17,235 It's really very good. 621 01:07:17,336 --> 01:07:19,336 Made by Isabelle. 622 01:07:21,114 --> 01:07:23,994 So you're settled in the country... 623 01:07:24,095 --> 01:07:26,095 I'm not very ambitious. 624 01:07:26,196 --> 01:07:29,896 I've a few patients, I like taking it easy. 625 01:07:30,239 --> 01:07:33,053 Finally, someone who's as lazy as I am. 626 01:07:33,154 --> 01:07:34,754 and who admits it. 627 01:07:34,855 --> 01:07:39,155 Why do people today consider work as a virtue? 628 01:07:39,413 --> 01:07:41,698 I brag about my laziness. 629 01:07:43,424 --> 01:07:45,939 You know the song, "The King of Yvetot"... 630 01:07:46,127 --> 01:07:50,035 There was a King of Yvetot, Whom history little knows, 631 01:07:50,136 --> 01:07:52,136 Early to bed and late to rise, 632 01:07:52,463 --> 01:07:55,164 No glory marked his repose 633 01:07:55,265 --> 01:07:57,265 His crown was from Jeanneton, 634 01:07:57,366 --> 01:07:59,366 A nightcap of cotton, ronron. 635 01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:04,683 The King of Yvetot, that's me! 636 01:08:04,856 --> 01:08:07,051 Fish, forester style. 637 01:08:11,579 --> 01:08:13,473 Allow me. 638 01:08:17,140 --> 01:08:19,214 Watch it, dear. 639 01:08:53,972 --> 01:08:55,564 Sorry. 640 01:09:02,987 --> 01:09:05,902 What style did you say? 641 01:09:06,003 --> 01:09:07,403 It's fish. 642 01:09:07,504 --> 01:09:10,504 Granted, only you forgot to cook it. 643 01:09:10,605 --> 01:09:13,605 We're out of butane gas. 644 01:09:20,186 --> 01:09:22,600 Then Amed�e came, all excited. 645 01:09:22,701 --> 01:09:25,901 He'll get the butcher shop, but I won't be... 646 01:09:26,002 --> 01:09:27,402 a butcher's wife. 647 01:09:27,503 --> 01:09:29,503 She wants to be a hetaera. 648 01:09:32,187 --> 01:09:36,572 But you can be both butcher's wife and a hetaera. 649 01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:39,873 Take it away, we can't eat it. 650 01:09:44,825 --> 01:09:47,288 I'll make some spaghetti. 651 01:09:57,773 --> 01:10:00,517 Is the little pooch alright? 652 01:10:01,190 --> 01:10:03,576 Thanks to you. 653 01:10:47,502 --> 01:10:49,900 Darling, give me a straw. 654 01:11:12,220 --> 01:11:14,016 It's delicious. 655 01:11:14,117 --> 01:11:17,917 Andre fixed the frigidaire, now we'll have cold drinks. 656 01:11:18,018 --> 01:11:21,718 Get more glasses and call Andr�, 657 01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:24,319 so we can drink together. 658 01:11:24,420 --> 01:11:25,620 He's busy. 659 01:11:25,721 --> 01:11:27,321 Fixing the bathroom faucet. 660 01:11:27,422 --> 01:11:29,022 About time. 661 01:11:29,823 --> 01:11:32,840 He couldn't earlier, he filled the wine-bottles. 662 01:11:32,941 --> 01:11:37,241 He fixed the garden tap, too. He's a marvel, that boy! 663 01:11:40,444 --> 01:11:42,112 Go get him. 664 01:11:53,339 --> 01:11:54,992 Give me a wrench. 665 01:11:59,562 --> 01:12:00,932 Here. 666 01:12:01,033 --> 01:12:03,533 I finished the bathroom. 667 01:12:03,634 --> 01:12:07,434 I found another little thing that needed fixing. 668 01:12:07,535 --> 01:12:10,335 Edmond wants us to drink with him. 669 01:12:10,436 --> 01:12:13,036 Bring glasses and orgeat syrup. 670 01:12:18,924 --> 01:12:21,298 Now it won't leak anymore. 671 01:12:21,399 --> 01:12:23,399 He'll be glad. 672 01:12:41,062 --> 01:12:42,774 Are you happy? 673 01:12:42,875 --> 01:12:44,875 I'm happy because he's happy. 674 01:12:44,976 --> 01:12:46,976 He's a great guy. 675 01:12:47,077 --> 01:12:51,577 You know what he said after I fixes his carburetor this morning? 676 01:12:51,678 --> 01:12:55,678 "Andr�", he said, "what would I do without you?" 677 01:12:56,484 --> 01:12:58,155 He's very nice. 678 01:13:49,642 --> 01:13:54,818 Why don't we try the car and see if the carburetor's ok now? 679 01:13:55,316 --> 01:13:57,042 Good idea. 680 01:13:58,356 --> 01:14:00,598 I'll have to paint that bench. 681 01:14:00,699 --> 01:14:02,699 Let's refresh ourselves! 682 01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:46,134 Come, Linda, we're going for a drive. 683 01:15:00,998 --> 01:15:04,260 Ah, Mr. Joly! Going in for potato farming? 684 01:15:16,862 --> 01:15:18,626 What do I owe? 685 01:15:18,727 --> 01:15:21,627 At 10 cents a point, 3 francs. 686 01:15:22,436 --> 01:15:25,004 I think you lose on purpose. 687 01:15:25,105 --> 01:15:27,105 What an idea! Why? 688 01:15:27,206 --> 01:15:29,206 To please me. 689 01:15:29,307 --> 01:15:32,507 I wouldn't, even to please you. 690 01:15:33,904 --> 01:15:35,363 What's for dinner? 691 01:15:35,464 --> 01:15:38,464 I'll do it, I'll make ravioli. 692 01:15:39,506 --> 01:15:41,522 I adore ravioli! 693 01:15:41,623 --> 01:15:43,623 Watch your cholesterol. 694 01:15:47,760 --> 01:15:52,020 I don't exercise enough. I'll play some bowls. 695 01:15:52,121 --> 01:15:53,621 Come along? 696 01:15:53,722 --> 01:15:55,222 And my ravioli? 697 01:15:55,323 --> 01:15:56,923 He's making the ravioli. 698 01:15:57,714 --> 01:15:59,694 Ah, yes, the ravioli. 699 01:16:00,337 --> 01:16:02,664 See you later, darling. 700 01:16:03,046 --> 01:16:06,315 Paulette, for the ravioli get me some... 701 01:16:06,416 --> 01:16:09,616 flour, butter, salt, pepper... 702 01:16:09,717 --> 01:16:12,117 and the pastry board. 703 01:16:21,262 --> 01:16:23,317 I wonder if... 704 01:16:24,218 --> 01:16:27,418 I should make chicken or spinach ravioli? 705 01:16:28,219 --> 01:16:31,200 I'll make them with ham. 706 01:16:32,411 --> 01:16:34,824 You've lots of time, come. 707 01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:54,964 Funny, but I feel remorse. It can't last. 708 01:16:55,065 --> 01:16:57,565 He's happy whenever I'm happy, 709 01:16:57,666 --> 01:17:00,966 so you needn't feel remorse. 710 01:17:42,674 --> 01:17:44,392 Hi, Skipper! 711 01:17:44,493 --> 01:17:46,993 Hello, C�sar, how goes it? 712 01:17:47,094 --> 01:17:49,094 Not too well, Skipper. 713 01:17:49,195 --> 01:17:52,195 I'm so thirsty, I can't think! 714 01:17:52,992 --> 01:17:55,276 Been at it again, eh? 715 01:17:55,377 --> 01:17:58,377 No, no... not that, Skipper. 716 01:18:01,007 --> 01:18:03,890 Pity an old hungry sailor... 717 01:18:03,991 --> 01:18:05,991 and a thirsty one. 718 01:18:06,209 --> 01:18:09,947 You wouldn't refuse me a mite, between sailors. 719 01:18:10,048 --> 01:18:15,348 I'll give something but, frankly, it's to down a couple, no? 720 01:18:15,449 --> 01:18:17,449 To your health, Skipper! 721 01:18:17,550 --> 01:18:20,550 To your health, Sir! One-two, one-two... 722 01:18:24,974 --> 01:18:28,787 I forgot my wallet, I'll go back for it. 723 01:18:28,806 --> 01:18:31,179 Wait here, be patient. 724 01:18:32,198 --> 01:18:34,811 Would you have a fag, Skipper? 725 01:18:36,059 --> 01:18:38,416 Are you all set now? 726 01:19:13,711 --> 01:19:15,869 What are you doing? 727 01:19:17,875 --> 01:19:19,679 Preparing the ravioli. 728 01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:22,980 Here? Now that's an idea. 729 01:19:41,831 --> 01:19:43,289 Where's Madame? 730 01:19:43,879 --> 01:19:45,245 I don't know. 731 01:19:46,609 --> 01:19:48,283 You don't know? 732 01:19:51,753 --> 01:19:53,453 And Mr. Andr�? 733 01:19:53,554 --> 01:19:55,154 I don't know... I... 734 01:20:03,825 --> 01:20:05,575 Move away. 735 01:20:06,481 --> 01:20:11,587 Oh, Mr. Duvallier, don't go in there, don't go in! 736 01:20:16,284 --> 01:20:18,137 Get up. 737 01:20:43,145 --> 01:20:44,953 You're right. 738 01:20:46,812 --> 01:20:49,273 I shouldn't go in. 739 01:22:50,577 --> 01:22:53,240 If your wife cheated, what would you do? 740 01:22:54,307 --> 01:22:57,977 Nothing, I haven't got a wife! 741 01:23:05,805 --> 01:23:08,391 But that's too much, Skipper. 742 01:23:08,492 --> 01:23:10,492 Seamon C�sar... 743 01:23:12,397 --> 01:23:15,544 Your orders are... to get plastered, 744 01:23:15,645 --> 01:23:18,245 like you've never been plastered before. 745 01:23:18,346 --> 01:23:20,346 Aye, aye, Sir! 746 01:23:45,767 --> 01:23:48,789 If your wife cheated, what would you do? 747 01:23:48,890 --> 01:23:51,890 My wife cheated? She's too old. 748 01:24:12,285 --> 01:24:14,856 If your wife had a lover... 749 01:24:14,957 --> 01:24:16,457 what would you do? 750 01:24:16,558 --> 01:24:18,558 Kill'em both. 751 01:24:19,011 --> 01:24:21,109 You love her so? 752 01:24:21,210 --> 01:24:24,210 I wouldn't like being a jerk. 753 01:24:24,988 --> 01:24:26,352 Of course. 754 01:24:26,453 --> 01:24:29,053 Question of honor, no? 755 01:25:07,820 --> 01:25:09,582 What misery! 756 01:25:09,683 --> 01:25:12,283 I'll regret it all my life. 757 01:25:12,384 --> 01:25:14,384 Ah yes, what misery! 758 01:25:15,078 --> 01:25:17,334 And it's all my fault. 759 01:25:17,435 --> 01:25:21,235 If we'd remained just friends, we'd still be happy.. 760 01:25:21,336 --> 01:25:23,336 and so would he. 761 01:25:25,445 --> 01:25:27,938 Will I see you again? 762 01:25:31,814 --> 01:25:34,144 You think he'll return? 763 01:25:34,245 --> 01:25:35,545 Yes, he loves you. 764 01:25:35,646 --> 01:25:38,646 Yes, but only when I'm happy. 765 01:25:39,196 --> 01:25:42,214 When I'm unhappy, I upset him, 766 01:25:42,315 --> 01:25:45,115 and if you leave, I'll be unhappy. 767 01:25:50,649 --> 01:25:53,070 It's not just us three. 768 01:25:54,455 --> 01:25:56,941 There's public opinion. 769 01:25:57,042 --> 01:26:01,042 Captain Duvallier can't overlook such an insult. 770 01:26:01,143 --> 01:26:03,143 People will know? 771 01:26:03,244 --> 01:26:05,044 Such news travels fast. 772 01:26:52,226 --> 01:26:55,111 Oh, if you knew, if you knew! 773 01:26:57,836 --> 01:27:01,022 I was preparing the flour... 774 01:27:01,884 --> 01:27:03,688 for the ravioli... 775 01:27:33,565 --> 01:27:37,177 They were caught together, what a scandal! 776 01:27:51,871 --> 01:27:54,752 I'll play you 13 points, OK? 777 01:28:03,077 --> 01:28:05,567 I've something to tell you. 778 01:28:08,380 --> 01:28:11,292 Nothing, it can wait. Let's play. 779 01:28:34,347 --> 01:28:36,189 What's funny? 780 01:28:36,290 --> 01:28:39,790 Your clumsiness, which contradicts the proverb... 781 01:28:40,357 --> 01:28:43,321 "Luck in game, unlucky in love." 782 01:28:43,354 --> 01:28:45,917 I'll knock you block off! 783 01:28:49,410 --> 01:28:51,153 You're a brute. 784 01:28:53,205 --> 01:28:55,555 A dirty brute! 785 01:28:58,010 --> 01:29:01,064 Joly, you're a mean man. 786 01:29:03,544 --> 01:29:05,706 From Mr. Feraud. 787 01:29:13,372 --> 01:29:14,850 Idiot! 788 01:30:05,899 --> 01:30:08,051 Ah, there you are! 789 01:30:15,088 --> 01:30:18,155 Why are we in this God-forsaken place? 790 01:30:18,256 --> 01:30:20,956 To avoid witnesses, Mr. Duvallier. 791 01:30:21,057 --> 01:30:24,057 "Mr."? Yesterday you called me Edmond. 792 01:30:24,158 --> 01:30:26,158 And why that get-up? 793 01:30:27,153 --> 01:30:31,277 Wouldn't you admit that life has certain delicate moments... 794 01:30:33,947 --> 01:30:37,464 when serious explanations are called for... 795 01:30:37,565 --> 01:30:40,965 explanations requiring a certain decorum? 796 01:30:41,066 --> 01:30:44,266 I don't understand a word of your murky talk. 797 01:30:45,709 --> 01:30:50,486 The situation is only too clear, alas, with but a sole solution, 798 01:30:50,826 --> 01:30:52,201 I see. 799 01:30:52,302 --> 01:30:54,302 What do you have there? 800 01:30:54,860 --> 01:30:56,978 Pistols, Mr. Duvallier. 801 01:30:58,435 --> 01:31:00,663 That's your sole solution? 802 01:31:19,141 --> 01:31:23,707 And, naturally, you'd have kept the unloaded one for yourself. 803 01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:26,482 I'm very unhappy. 804 01:31:27,161 --> 01:31:30,358 I can't... imagine life... without Isabelle. 805 01:31:30,745 --> 01:31:33,603 nor, I must confess... without you... 806 01:31:33,704 --> 01:31:37,204 That's why you want to make me a murderer? 807 01:31:37,765 --> 01:31:39,831 You won't duel? 808 01:31:39,932 --> 01:31:41,432 Certainly not! 809 01:31:41,533 --> 01:31:45,533 What'll I do? Beat it? Go to China? 810 01:31:45,634 --> 01:31:47,634 You'd do that to me? 811 01:31:48,472 --> 01:31:51,471 You'd abandon your King of Yvetot? 812 01:31:51,978 --> 01:31:54,191 What'll I do without you? 813 01:31:54,766 --> 01:31:56,434 And my wife? 814 01:31:56,535 --> 01:31:57,935 Think of her. 815 01:31:58,036 --> 01:32:00,036 You're selfish! 816 01:32:00,137 --> 01:32:01,737 What about convention? 817 01:32:01,838 --> 01:32:04,538 I don't care a hoot about convention, 818 01:32:04,639 --> 01:32:06,639 and you shouldn't either. 819 01:32:06,740 --> 01:32:08,647 That would be a revolution! 820 01:32:08,748 --> 01:32:11,248 Revolutions make life bearable. 821 01:32:11,349 --> 01:32:15,949 Revolutions in the kitchen, the bedroom, the village square... 822 01:32:16,498 --> 01:32:19,575 tempests in a tea cup. 823 01:32:19,676 --> 01:32:22,276 We'd better play some bowls. 824 01:32:25,290 --> 01:32:28,108 Edmond, you're an extraordinary man! 825 01:32:30,497 --> 01:32:32,219 Oh, come on. 826 01:32:34,597 --> 01:32:37,055 To get Isabelle. 827 01:33:12,985 --> 01:33:15,394 Skipper, I followed your advice. 828 01:33:16,115 --> 01:33:18,114 I got royally plastered. 829 01:33:40,742 --> 01:33:45,215 Bring my wife some refreshment while I'm playing. 830 01:33:45,316 --> 01:33:47,316 I'll play you 13 points, OK? 831 01:34:09,187 --> 01:34:13,046 They defy us, but he who laughs last etc... 832 01:34:44,754 --> 01:34:47,243 Duvallier, you're a cuckold! 833 01:35:58,333 --> 01:35:58,858 Subtitles ripped by gooz karagarga, 2018